Buffyverse Posting Boards

Date: 2003-01-07 12:39
Subject: Four Nazgul and an Uruk-Hai
Security: Public
Mood: contemplative

Last night’s corporate outing went well, I thought. Left four of the Bringers playing pin-the-cross-on-the-vampire (this was pre today’s brain-curdling poetry slam) and took the rest of the Harbingers plus my Ubervamp to see Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. And they got in free because the ticket-person thought they were in costume! Or possibly because the Turok-Han growled a lot. He did get some v. strange looks – maybe should dress him in something other than a loincloth when taking him out in public?

Movie excellent, despite thoroughly depressing “good will triumph over evil” message. My minions were all most upset that just when a triumphant ending was in sight for the orc army, defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory. This has somewhat demoralised them: possibly a team bonding exercise is in order? Later we can all play Pictionary, if Spike ever shuts up.

Still bitter about the Uruk-hai/Turok-Han issue, but received this e-mail from my attorney:

From: l.morgan@wolframhart.org
To: firstevildarknessfears@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: copyright query

Apologies for the tardiness of this reply: you may be aware of a minor apocalypse occurring in Los Angeles that has unfortunately caught us off guard. No need for you to worry, however – as always, you are one of our most valued clients and we’ll be happy to pursue this case for you if you decide to take it further.

I’d like to add a word of caution, though: we had one client involved in an action against the Tolkien estate over the character Gollum (also called Smeagol) who he claimed was based on him. He had a strong case, but some months ago vanished while on a business trip to Sunnydale. He was eventually found brutally murdered in a cave – his eyes had been gouged out, probably with someone’s thumbs. Just to let you know that these people are mean about their copyright issues.

Contact me if you want to take this any further
Sincerely
L. Morgan

This Tolkien person's lawyers must be even more evil than mine. Eyes gouged out? Doesn’t bother me or my harbingers, but the Turok-Han has taken to wearing sunglasses since reading that mail. Maybe will let the copyright thing slide just this once.

Mostly quiet at the Fortress of Slayitude (gah! Residual geekiness from impersonating Warren Mears will not go away!) How many bedrooms do they have, anyway? Maybe I should stop killing the Potentials. With seven or eight women sharing one bathroom, surely they will eventually kill each other in Darwinian-type frenzy?

Am several days late in deciding on New Year's Resolutions. This tardiness due to the Arashmahar bring-your-own-vengeance office party, which D'Hoffryn was kind (ha!) enough to invite me to. Discovered too late was only asked to rub it in my face that Willow Rosenberg was voted Top Evil of 2002. What?! True, flaying the weaselly boyfriend of my weaselly ex-minion and trying to destroy the world racks her up some minor points on the evil scale, but she's been flagging badly since May. Have been watching Summers house-cum-anti-me-fortress and the most evil thing she's done since then has been secretly reading Harry Potter slash online and pretending it's "research".

You can't conceive of how evil I am. I invented microwave dinners. Voicemail. The org chart. American Idol. Every day my beautiful evil work spreads throughout the world, and no Slayer can stop me, no matter how many souled vampires and miscellaneously superpowered chums she has on her side.

And say you win... would you want the First Good to tip the balance? We're talking wall-to-wall Seventh Heaven reruns here.

Give in. Embrace the evil. Because my team's more fun, dammit.